In the spirit of The Byron Life we are joining in on Monday Mamma posts.
Being a new Mum there are so many new experiences that I go through every day. What is new to me is the constant routine that I now find myself in and the restrictive feelings of living inside the walls of a routine.
My life before Paddy was so easy. I lived for spontaneity - I loved waking up late and deciding what we would do for the day while lying with my hubby in bed. Working for ourselves we weren't really ever restricted in our day.
And then BAM this all changed. To go anywhere we had to time it with the sleeping and feeding. Even in the home I couldn't just go for a walk outside.
I remember when Paddy was first born this was the reality that hit me the hardest - "I am never ever able to do things on my time or by myself again". I had worked my life to get to a space where nobody could restrict what I did. I didn't feel obligated to do anything - everything I did was something that I wanted to do. I lived my life for me. And when that reality hit I was really truly scared.
But what a difference 9 weeks can make. Now Paddy and I are starting to get to know each other we can work together. I no longer have to wait until sleep time before we can put him in the car to go somewhere. I feel more comfortable about taking him out of the house because I know what is wrong when he is upset (well 80% of the time anyway!)
The reality that I am tied to my little man is now a joy. I no longer mind bowing to his routine because my love for him dictates everything - I would do anything for him.
Strangly enough in this what was once a restrictive routine I have found a person within me that is capable of living for someone else and that feeling is liberating. Probably because it comes from a source of absolute pure love.
2 comments:
i felt exactly the same. Would I ever see that girl again? The one who stayed out til 3am and dancing on table tops?? Truth is, that while you tone her down somewhat, the old you is still there. As bubs grows up a little more and you accept your new role some more, it gets easier. My top advice? When someone offers to mind him, say YES, YES, YES! Enjoy those moments alone or just with hubby, and then you won't crave them so much xx
Oh boy! that absolute pure love can get you to do some incredible things. I am constantly amazed at what I will force myself to do just for the little girl - and it makes me happy that I can do those things for her.
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