Back to Normal

Boobs no longer the size of boulders: Check!

No more leaking of small milk lakes from both breasts: Check!

A very content, happy little man who sleeps for stretches longer than 2 hours: Check!

Dealt with my feelings of guilt at not feeding anymore: Check!

Feeling slightly liberated and a bit more freedom in having my body back to myself: Check!

I think we are on the road back to normal....whatever that is.

Thanks for the kind words - they really did help xoxo

Weaning = Hell

I weaned Paddy on Monday. Monday was the first day of complete physical and emotional chaos in my world.

I weaned because his teeth weren't working too well with my nipples. The result was a lot of cracks and a lot of bleeding. He has been eating real food since he was 6 months and had weaned himself through the day - he just fed at night. Instinctively I made the decision that we should go all the way.

Tuesday morning I woke up with engorged, painful boobs. Tuesday afternoon I was at the hospital and on antibiotics to keep mastitis at bay.

Wednesday morning I woke with a overwhelming feeling of guilt. Had I weaned too soon? Did I really think it was the best time for him to wean or did I just give up because it got hard? Did I break the bond between mother and son? Was I just purely selfish?

I wanted to feed Paddy until he was 18 months old at least but we only got to 11 months. I felt I failed.

Now 5 days on..... my boobs aren't as bad but really painful still. I can't leave the house because the milk is slowly leaking out. I have gotten over the guilt to some degree and told myself I just have to move on. It's too late now anyway....

Why doesn't anyone tell you how hard and how emotional breast feeding is?!!

I know we are moving on to another stage in Paddy's world and I know it's going to be great. I just miss the little baby I had.

We will get there...... One day at at time.

Recharge

During the week I declared to my husband that a breakdown was near. I needed a change of scenery and a chance to recharge me.

So we booked a weekend away at Rainbow Beach (it truly is as beautiful as it's name). No phone reception meant it was only us and we spent our days eating great food and playing together.

I am now recharged and ready to tackle the next session of life.

I did manage to get in some crochet time so will talk again soon with photos....